bear with me

i hate the tone you used to speak to my dad
- okay or to any Old man you meet.
there were moments you showed me your gentle manly-ness tonight, when you helped in some stuffs, but it wasn't enough to make up for the tone i heard you speak tonight.

Lord, thanks for answering my prayer yet again today. You blew the dark clouds away and you kept your promise. Father, i was angry and tired with the other things that happened today. WHY? i can't understand. You told me to have an attitude of serving but i felt the anger doing the job. Lord, you know the people who really put in the effort and all and yet there were those who'd rather not do likewise.
i'm sick and tired of it.
the entire thing.
it feels super not encouraging to move on.
but i'm not going to say I QUIT!
i can't.

TO:
HAZEL ( my dearest ShiMu)
I don't know wad happened at the end but i know you' might be reading this because you've always been a faithful reader. from the bottom of my heart, i want to thankyou for every single thing you've done. From smiling at me each time i meet you to: giving me good advice to: helping me make major decisions for the party to: cutting scotchtape to paste the Decos. I know perfectly well i couldn't have handled it on my own.
shimu - if i've ever done anything wrong or wadsoever, i apologise. On the whole for the Party, it was 3 thumbs up.

MATT (my only SHIFU)
i hope i did things right when you were away.
i didn't like the things i was seeing but i couldn't stop functioning when you were -like in crisis. I don't know how to open my mouth to ask you about the situation but i'll be ard if you ever need me to listen. Jiayou on your side because i know things might be tough. Shifu, our prayer worked wonders today. Just a little something to tell you - no matter how perfect we might plan for a certain event, we got to prepare ourselves with an open mind that there'll still be flaws and loop holes. THAT is just because we are not perfect. that's all.
THANK YOU for letting me have this Chance of doing my part for the youth.

seriously i am feeling drained from all these and i think it's because i've used all of my energy every single bit of it to make up for the loss years of my service. aaaa. tmr's service and i just love it. amen for that. i can't believe all these coming out from me.
Goodnight WORLD. and hello GOD.

{ 12:23 am }